Hi! Before I get started with this week’s blog, I have to be honest and apologize for not being consistent. I’m not necessarily apologizing to you the reader, but more so to myself, because I broke a promise. I could say I was busy with work, I could say I was dealing with some personal stuff, I could say that I didn’t feel like putting in the effort, etc. While all those things are valid reasons for taking a break, the truth is that I didn’t have any real excuse. I just stopped writing for a while. I didn’t stop having ideas, and I never stopped reading or learning something, so now I’m back and I’m holding myself accountable to being consistent. So, here we go!
The simple definition of an infrastructure is the underlying foundation or basic framework of something, like a system, organization, or community. If you live in any major city, you can travel within that city because of highways, which are infrastructures that allow multiple travelers to go in different directions at the same time. Not all highways are efficient (South 167), but their intended purpose is to be efficient.
I first started thinking about infrastructures several weeks ago, when the world was rocked by a huge infrastructure break on one of the largest IT platforms in the world. One software update resulted in IT systems being impacted globally, resulting in some industries having to close, including critical industries such as hospitals. There were videos and news coverage of millions of people being stranded at airports because of canceled flights due to the airline’s IT systems being severely impacted. While there was a lot of fear-mongering going on at the time, that is not what I took away from that incident, and it’s definitely not what this blog is about. What I kept thinking about was how one event at one company disrupted entire industries for days on end. Microsoft was the company that had the software release that caused the IT issues, but the reason why so many industries were impacted is because they utilized Microsoft systems as part of their organizational infrastructure. Wow! The systems we use can be the very thing that leads to the demise of our infrastructure, and I am personally grateful that I got to watch that happen in real-time. Why? Because it turned my perspective on faith completely around. I now see faith as an infrastructure, which is why I’ve included a picture of a highway as the main blog image.
I’ve been binge-watching one of my favorite shows, Unprisioned on Hulu. The show stars Kerry Washington and Delroy Lindo and the show is based on the true story of Tracy McMillan, and it’s about a therapist who is reconnecting and reestablishing her relationship with her absentee father, who was in prison for much of her life. If you have not seen it, please do so because it’s amazing! What I love most about the show is that it features a little girl who is a living embodiment of Kerry Washington’s inner child. So there are parts of the show where you’ll see Kerry Washington’s character talking to this little girl who always looks exactly like her (like she’s in the same outfit, same hair, everything) as she is processing her feelings and emotions. The show highlights how even when we think we have everything all together, we can be dealing with levels of brokenness and uncertainty. Season 2 of this show came out one week after the Microsoft IT outage, and I don’t think it’s coincidental. At its core, the show is about the infrastructure of a family and what happens as a result of their foundation being broken down by absenteeism, unforgiveness, and resentment. As I watched the first few episodes, I started thinking about infrastructure again. I kept asking God, why do I keep being confronted with this theme of damaged infrastructures? And then I realized that my faith is an infrastructure, and God was showing me that my foundation was damaged.
The foundation of an infrastructure is what keeps it going and active. If we see faith as an infrastructure, then the next logical question is, what is the underlying foundation of our faith? As believers, our foundation should be rooted in the death and resurrection of Christ, and in His Word. But that’s such a churchy answer, and I think for many Christians other elements make up the foundation of our faith. I’ll be honest and admit that my thoughts impact my faith way more than they should. Sometimes I place my belief into what I’m thinking or what I’m experiencing, and it weakens my faith. What about you? Is your foundation damaged from a harmful childhood? A broken heart? Church hurt? These are all real things that have a real impact on us, and they especially can impact the infrastructure of our faith. What’s worse is that many of us may not even know the damage that exists to our foundation. I used to love the TV show Hoarders, and sometimes they would spend days getting rid of all the stuff in someone’s house, only to realize that underneath all of the clutter, there was mold in the home, which is deadly to our health once exposed. How many of us are going to church every Sunday, watching every preacher on Youtube, and praying down heaven every day……….but we don’t notice the mold on our hearts that is quietly killing us. What if the infrastructure of your faith is on the brink of collapse and you don’t even know it?
There is no blog I’ve written that did not start out with God showing me something about me. What He has been showing me lately is that doubt is a mold that’s been damaging the foundation of my faith for years. Do I truly believe that He can do exceedingly and abundantly above all that I ask or think? Not consistently. Why am I inconsistent in my belief? Because we often repeat that scripture but we don’t pay enough attention to the last part of it. Ephesians 3:20 says that He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can ask or think according to the power that works in us. If I entertain doubt, His power will not work in me as it should. And to be real, it hasn’t. I know that my living with Mental Health is part chemical imbalance and part spiritual imbalance. I’ve been reading an amazing book by Dr. Anita Phillips (a Christian therapist) about our hearts being gardens, and I love how she is blending scientific facts about the world of ecosystems and gardening with how we understand our emotions. I have to partner with God to fix my foundation and strengthen the infrastructure of my faith. And if you need to do the same, it’s OK. I am a big believer that God will use anything and everything to get our attention. He used a worldwide event and my favorite show to show me a truth I needed to see.
I know I’m not the only one with a damaged foundation and a weakened infrastructure. So I’m going to encourage you to look at your foundation and allow God to update your infrastructure, so you can access the power He has already given you. https://youtu.be/4MzH1Yao0x4?si=zdV-h4mImroucZlJ
God, thank you for being so thoughtful and intentional with how you speak to me. You know I’m a nerd, and you’re okay with that💖
See you next week~
The Obedience Diaries 