Can I admit something? I do not like the quiet, in fact I am incredibly uncomfortable with it. I live alone, but I always have some type of noise going, whether that be music, podcasts, TikTok videos, or episodes of Law & Order SVU (which is my comfort show), I’m never alone with my thoughts. Even when I journal, I need some type of noise. Pure silence scares me, although I guess I should be grateful because some folks never get any peace and quiet in their homes.
We’re quick to assume that silence automatically is connected to peace, but I disagree. While I understand the benefits of practices such as yoga and mindfulness, where you focus on being present in the moment you’re in, not everyone can handle these types of exercises. It’s in the silence where many people feel the most vulnerable, and that’s why we fill it with some type of noise. When I’m in silence my mind starts racing and I find it difficult to focus on just one thing. Truthfully, I feel like I have more peace in noise than I do in silence.
Now, there are times when I know that I am intentionally avoiding being silent because I don’t want to face whatever feelings/reactions and truths that are in front of me. I am the kind of person who has to process their feelings, and it can exhaust me. To me, choosing to sit in silence to process my feelings is like watching an episode of ‘This Is Us’. It’s time well spent, but it’s always an emotional journey. By the way, if you haven’t watched that show you should. But prepare to be in all of your feelings. 💯
Throughout my walk with God, I have learned that He often speaks to me in silence, when I choose to listen. Remember how I shared two weeks ago about going to the library and God speaking to me about my need to feel seen? Well, the reason why I heard Him clearly is because I decided to be quiet. Can y’all believe that I patted myself on the back because I thought I was done, but I’ve quickly realized that God is not done talking to me. All this week I’ve surrounded myself with noise. Work has been busy, I haven’t been feeling my best, and I haven’t been sleeping well. I intentionally chose to not be silent this week, because I truly didn’t have the mental energy to be still. But I am going to give being silent another try this weekend and I’m going to keep trying until I become comfortable with it.
I used to think that for God to speak to me I needed to have a ‘secret place’, aka a prayer room or closet that included worship music, a leatherbound King James Bible, sticky notes, and multicolored flash cards. I even tried to do those things and quickly realized that they weren’t authentic to who I am. Please understand that I’m not knocking anyone who has these things or spends time with God in this way, but I am saying that God can speak to you anywhere you choose to be quiet enough to listen. If you can be silent in your prayer closet that’s where He will speak with you. But some people hear God the clearest when they’re in the shower, or when they’re running in the morning. They are no less saved and no less in tune with God’s voice than those in their prayer closet with a prayer shawl covering their head.
It doesn’t matter how you get there, but I encourage you to trust God with your silence. If all you can stand is five minutes, give Him that. If you’re like me and you have to leave your home and put yourself in a quiet environment you can do that too. Just remember that God won’t force you to listen to Him, but He does desire to spend time with you. He is a jealous God, and He is jealous when the noise in our lives impacts our ability and our desire to listen to Him.
It’s in the silence that God will tell us the truth about ourselves and about the situations we are facing. I believe that this is why we are uncomfortable with silence, because the noise and the distractions in our lives help us to escape from ourselves and our accountability in what God has told us to do (or not do). His truth silences our excuses, and it exposes our hidden motives. The silence is also where God shows His compassion towards us.
When I was a kid I used to hear people talk and sing about God holding them ‘late in the midnight hour’, and wondered why God didn’t hold them in the daytime. But now that I’m an adult I realize that late it’s in the midnight hour that we’re more likely to be vulnerable; our noises and distractions may not be readily available and we’re more open to hear His voice and accept His affection toward us. It reminds me of the song ‘How He Loves’ by Crowder. Here’s my favorite lyrics from that song:
“And we are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking
And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about, the way…He loves us…..”
God desires to talk to you, but He will not compete with the noise around you. Make room for Him in your heart and mind, and trust Him with the silence.
See y’all next week~
The Obedience Diaries 