It’s 2024, and we all know what it’s like to wear a mask. Although the pandemic has been officially declared as over, Covid is still prevalent and now with the rise of the RSV virus, many people are still wearing masks regularly. Proper medical grade face masks have proven to be an effective preventative measure against transmitting viruses.
This blog is not about medical masks though. It’s about emotional masks, and although we may not want to readily admit it, we all wear them at times, for different reasons. The formal term is called ‘masking’, and it’s defined as when an individual hides or suppresses symptoms, behaviors, or difficulties they are experiencing. The motives for masking can vary based on the person, but it’s often done out of fear of being our authentic selves.
This is a bold take, but I don’t think that masking is necessarily a bad thing; in fact I think it’s sometimes necessary. We can practice masking as a means of protecting ourselves from potential danger and/or harm. If you are Black and work in corporate America, you know that we have to mask at times. That’s what code switching is rooted in. All this talk about psychological safety and showing up authentically in the workplace doesn’t apply to us. While the reality of that is tiring and irritates the hell out of me, it’s still true.
Another type of protective masking is when we shield our personal belief systems. At this point in society, we shouldn’t have to hide who we are, especially as adults, but the world has become so polarized. You can be labeled as “anti” anything if you don’t agree with and/or support an opinion, belief, or group. You can be labeled as part of hate groups when that is the furthest thing from your character and values.
This is especially true on social media, where people have been doxxed (their personal, financial, and employment information was publicly shared online ) when they shared opinions that others didn’t like (i.e. what happened to Breethetherapist on TikTok). She got fired from her job because of things she said on her TikTok about black men needing therapy. IYKYK.
Choosing to be 100% bold all of the time can have some serious consequences, especially depending on your environment. We have to remember that authenticity is expensive, and that it can cost you things you hold very dear (your sense of normal, your family/friends, and sometimes even your job).
Please understand that this is not a call to intentionally deceive people and hide who you are, but to have compassion on yourself and where you’re at emotionally. Sometimes it’s easier to mask than it is to be real, because we’re so broken on the inside. But at some point you have to be honest with yourself and with others. Ask yourself-am I surrounding myself with people I can be unmasked with? If you are unsure of the answer to that question, then you need to consider your environment. Authenticity can only thrive in safety.
Just remember to separate wearing a mask from identifying with it. Your authenticity is the most beautiful thing about you. If you are in a place where you are masked up most of the time, I hope you find a safe place to land. I realize that therapy is not free and that it’s not for everybody. Find what helps you. Take your mask off, even if just temporarily, and let yourself be.
See you next week~
The Obedience Diaries 